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ᐸsamples n="ENG18650"ᐳ
ᐸsampleᐳᐸp n="ENG1865082"ᐳLady Macleod shook her head. She did not like to say anything against Mr. Vavasor before his daughter; but the shaking of her head was intended to signify that Mr. Vavasor's assent in such a matter was worth nothing.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG1865083"ᐳ"I can only say again," said Lady Macleod, "that I think Mr. Grey will be displeased,—and that he will have very great cause for displeasure. And I think, moreover, that his approbation ought to be your chief study. I believe, my dear, I'll ask you to let Jane get me a cab. I shan't have a bit too much time to dress for the concert."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG1865084"ᐳAlice simply rang the bell, and said no further word on the subject which they had been discussing. When Lady Macleod got up to go away, Alice kissed her, as was customary with them, and the old lady as she went uttered her customary valediction. "God bless you, my dear. Good-bye! I'll come to-morrow if I can." There was therefore no quarrel between them. But both of them felt that words had been spoken which must probably lead to some diminution of their past intimacy.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG1865085"ᐳWhen Lady Macleod had gone Alice sat alone for an hour thinking of what had passed between them,—thinking rather of those two men, the worthy man and the wild man, whose names had been mentioned in close connection with herself. John Grey was a worthy man, a man worthy at all points, as far as she knew him. She told herself it was so. And she told herself, also, that her cousin George was wild,—very wild. And yet her thoughts were, I fear, on the whole more kindly towards her cousin than towards her lover. She had declared to her aunt that John Grey would be incapable of such suspicion as would be shown by any objection on his part to the arrangements made for the tour. She had said so, and had so believed; and yet she continued to brood over the position which her affairs would take, if he did make the objection which Lady Macleod anticipated. She told herself over and over again, that under such circumstances she would not give way an inch. "He is free to go," she said to herself. "If he does not trust me he is quite free to go." It may almost be said that she came at last to anticipate from her lover that very answer to her own letter which she had declared him to be incapable of making.ᐸ/pᐳ
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ᐸsampleᐳᐸp n="ENG186501571"ᐳ"Say all what?"ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501572"ᐳ"You know I confessed that I had been very bad in not coming to you in London last year."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501573"ᐳ"I never thought of it for a moment."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501574"ᐳ"You did not care whether I came or not: was that it? But never mind. Why should you have cared? But I cared. I told you in my letter that I didn't come because I had so many things on hand. Of course that was a fib."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501575"ᐳ"Everybody makes excuses of that kind," said Alice.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501576"ᐳ"But they don't make them to the very people of all others whom they want to know and love. I was longing to come to you every day. But I feared I could not come without speaking of him;—and I had determined never to speak of him again." This she said in that peculiar low voice which she assumed at times.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501577"ᐳ"Then why do it now, Lady Glencora?"ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501578"ᐳ"I won't be called Lady Glencora. Call me Cora. I had a sister once, older than I, and she used to call me Cora. If she had lived—. But never mind that now. She didn't live. I'll tell you why I do it now. Because I cannot help it. Besides, I've met him. I've been in the same room with him, and have spoken to him. What's the good of any such resolution now?"ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501579"ᐳ"And you have met him?"ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501580"ᐳ"Yes; he—Mr. Palliser—knew all about it. When he talked of taking me to the house, I whispered to him that I thought Burgo would be there."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501581"ᐳ"Do not call him by his Christian name," said Alice, almost with a shudder.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501582"ᐳ"Why not?—why not his Christian name? I did when I told my husband. Or perhaps I said Burgo Fitzgerald."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501583"ᐳ"Well."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501584"ᐳ"And he bade me go. He said it didn't signify, and that I had better learn to bear it. Bear it, indeed! If I am to meet him, and speak to him, and look at him, surely I may mention his name." And then she paused for an answer. "May I not?"ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501585"ᐳ"What am I to say?" exclaimed Alice.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501586"ᐳ"Anything you please, that's not a falsehood. But I've got you here because I don't think you will tell a falsehood. Oh, Alice, I do so want to go right, and it is so hard!"ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501587"ᐳHard, indeed, poor creature, for one so weighted as she had been, and sent out into the world with so small advantages of previous training or of present friendship! Alice began to feel now that she had been enticed to Matching Priory because her cousin wanted a friend, and of course she could not refuse to give the friendship that was asked from her. She got up from her chair, and kneeling down at the other's feet put up her face and kissed her.ᐸ/pᐳ
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ᐸsampleᐳᐸp n="ENG18650988"ᐳ"Yes, I have seen him. I was in London the day you left."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650989"ᐳ"It is so terrible to think that I should have brought upon you all this trouble."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650990"ᐳ"You will bring upon me much worse trouble than that unless—. But I have not now come down here to tell you that. I believe that according to rule in such matters I should not have come to you at all, but I don't know that I care much about such rules."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650991"ᐳ"It is I that have broken all rules."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650992"ᐳ"When a lady tells a gentleman that she does not wish to see more of him—"ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650993"ᐳ"Oh, Mr. Grey, I have not told you that."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650994"ᐳ"Have you not? I am glad at any rate to hear you deny it. But you will understand what I mean. When a gentleman gets his dismissal from a lady he should accept it,—that is, his dismissal under such circumstances as I have received mine. But I cannot lay down my love in that way; nor, maintaining my love, can I give up the battle. It seems to me that I have a right at any rate to know something of your comings and goings as long as,—unless, Alice, you should take another name than mine."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650995"ᐳ"My intention is to keep my own." This she said in the lowest possible tone,—almost in a whisper,—with her eyes fixed upon the ground.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650996"ᐳ"And you will not deny me that right?"ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650997"ᐳ"I cannot hinder you. Whatever you may do, I myself have sinned so against you that I can have no right to blame you."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650998"ᐳ"There shall be no question between us of injury from one to the other. In any conversation that we may have, or in any correspondence—"ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650999"ᐳ"Oh, Mr. Grey, do not ask me to write."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501000"ᐳ"Listen to me. Should there be any on either side, there shall be no idea of any wrong done."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501001"ᐳ"But I have done you wrong;—great wrong."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501002"ᐳ"No, Alice; I will not have it so. When I asked you to accept my hand,—begging the greatest boon which it could ever come to my lot to ask from a fellow-mortal,—I knew well how great was your goodness to me when you told me that it should be mine. Now that you refuse it, I know also that you are good, thinking that in doing so you are acting for my welfare,—thinking more of my welfare than of your own."ᐸ/pᐳ
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ᐸsampleᐳᐸp n="ENG186501358"ᐳ"Nothing," said Alice.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501359"ᐳ"Then why am I tabooed? Why was I told the other day that I might not congratulate you on your happy emancipation? I say boldly, that had you resolved on that while we were together in Switzerland, you would have permitted me, as a friend, almost as a brother, to discuss it with you."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501360"ᐳ"I think not, George."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501361"ᐳ"I am sure you would. And why has Kate been warned not to tell me of this visit to the Pallisers? I know she has been warned though she has not confessed it."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501362"ᐳAlice sat silent, not knowing what to say in answer to this charge brought against her,—thinking, perhaps, that the questioner would allow his question to pass without an answer. But Vavasor was not so complaisant. "If there be any reason, Alice, I think that I have a right to ask it."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501363"ᐳFor a few seconds she did not speak a word, but sat considering. He also remained silent with his eyes fixed upon her. She looked at him and saw nothing but his scar,—nothing but his scar and the brightness of his eyes, which was almost fierce. She knew that he was in earnest, and therefore resolved that she would be in earnest also. "I think that you have such a right," she said at last.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501364"ᐳ"Then let me exercise it."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501365"ᐳ"I think that you have such a right, but I think also that you are ungenerous to exercise it."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501366"ᐳ"I cannot understand that. By heavens, Alice, I cannot be left in this suspense! If I have done anything to offend you, perhaps I can remove the offence by apology."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501367"ᐳ"You have done nothing to offend me."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501368"ᐳ"Or if there be any cause why our friendship should be dropped,—why we should be on a different footing to each other in London than we were in Switzerland, I may acknowledge it, if it be explained to me. But I cannot put up with the doubt, when I am told that I have a right to demand its solution."ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501369"ᐳ"Then I will be frank with you, George, though my being so will, as you may guess, be very painful." She paused again, looking at him to see if yet he would spare her; but he was all scar and eyes as before, and there was no mercy in his face.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG186501370"ᐳ"Your sister, George, has thought that my parting with Mr. Grey might lead to a renewal of a purpose of marriage between you and me. You know her eagerness, and will understand that it may have been necessary that I should require silence from her on that head. You ought now to understand it all."ᐸ/pᐳ
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ᐸsampleᐳᐸp n="ENG18650526"ᐳCheesacre, too, had adopted something of a sailor's garb. He had on a jacket of a rougher sort, coming down much lower than that of the captain, being much looser, and perhaps somewhat more like a garment which a possible seaman might possibly wear. But he was disgusted with himself the moment that he saw Bellfield. His heart had been faint, and he had not dared to ornament himself boldly as his friend had done. "I say, Guss, you are a swell," he exclaimed. It may be explained that Captain Bellfield had been christened Gustavus.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650527"ᐳ"I don't know much about that," said the captain; "my fellow sent me this toggery, and said that it was the sort of thing. I'll change with you if you like it." But Cheesacre could not have worn that jacket, and he walked on, hating himself.ᐸ/pᐳ
ᐸp n="ENG18650528"ᐳIt will be remembered that Mrs. Greenow had spoken with considerable severity of Captain Bellfield's pretensions when discussing his character with her niece; but, nevertheless, on the present occasion she received him with most gracious smiles. It may be that her estimate of his character had been altered, or that she was making sacrifice of her own feelings in consideration of Mr. Cheesacre, who was known to be the captain's intimate friend. But she had smiles for both of them. She had a wondrous power of smiling; and could, upon occasion, give signs of peculiar favour to half a dozen different gentlemen in as many minutes. They found her in the midst of hampers which were not yet wholly packed, while Mrs. Jones, Jeannette, and the cook of the household moved around her, on the outside of the circle, ministering to her wants. She had in her hand an outspread clean napkin, and she wore fastened round her dress a huge coarse apron, that she might thus be protected from some possible ebullition of gravy, or escape of salad mixture, or cream; but in other respects she was clothed in the fullest honours of widowhood. She had not mitigated her weeds by half an inch. She had scorned to make any compromise between the world of pleasure and the world of woe. There she was, a widow, declared by herself to be of four months' standing, with a buried heart, making ready a dainty banquet with skill and liberality. She was ready on the instant to sit down upon the baskets in which the grouse pie had been just carefully inhumed, and talked about her sainted lamb with a deluge of tears. If anybody didn't like it, that person—might do the other thing. Mr. Cheesacre and Captain Bellfield thought that they did like it.ᐸ/pᐳ
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